THE RINGO LETTERS – #16 – Why Do Women Flake?
Never miss a Ringo Letter or a Female Wrestling Channel Update!
The Ringo Letters are the sole view of Johnny Ringo, the owner of the Female Wrestling Channel, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the females that work for this company currently or in the recent past. The Ringo Letters are to serve as a vehicle for Johnny’s thoughts at a given time on FWC related subjects and non FWC related subjects.
It might not be “PC” to say it.
Some women are going to deny this is the case….
Men flake too.
(I consider these curious creatures “female or feminized men” as real men do not flake very often if ever)
The vast majority of producers who have worked in the female wrestling business for ANY LENGTH of time knows what I am saying to be true.
The vast majority of MEN in this world who have scheduled real life dates with multiple women knows what I am saying to be true.
Women Flake. It’s What They Do!
In A Dating And Work Context….Possible Reasons Include….
- her personal life is currently a mess
- she has plenty of options and you are not at the top
- she really, REALLY meant it when she said “Yes”, but now she has changed her mind (women tend to be dynamic)
- new options emerged since she said “Yes”
- she had a pimple on her nose she didn’t want you to see
- she forgot to shave her legs and doesn’t want to go out now in case “something happens”
- she is fixated on another guy or opportunity
- she is on her period
- she is simply disorganized
- she actually has a boyfriend, husband, or opportunity and was simply seeking attention from you and others
- on and on and on and etc etc etc
Do not take it personally ever again.
For you guys that ask ladies on dates and they flake on you I can assure you that this is NORMAL.
For women wrestling producers that are new to the business I can assure you that this is NORMAL.
For fans that schedule matches or sessions with ladies in this business and they flake I can assure you this is NORMAL.
A pain in the ass to be sure.
Frustrating as hell.
For Women Wrestling Fans And Producers
The biggest thing to understand is that “what we do” goes against the grain of natural female biology.
Exceptions exist for every rule.
This means not ALL women are the same.
Most women are generally the same.
For example, you will find MOST women are big children all their lives.
You will find that they often like the same things and sometimes react the same way when things don’t go their way.
One example of many: Women are not always rational and sometimes tend to be more emotional at times.
It’s a beautiful thing really.
Depending on your point of view and education on the subject.
Have You Ever Heard….Girls Just Want To Have Fun?
Do you see women lining up to do construction and road work?
Do you notice more women or men install things like satellite dishes?
Or fix houses?
Or cars and mechanical objects?
Women are generally more interested in PEOPLE.
Men are more interested generally in THINGS.
Ever heard girls talk about how they don’t want to grow up?
The vast majority of women are simply looking for an awesome man that can take charge HIS own finances and life AND her.
She wants to be the center of his attention.
Much like your child wants to be the center of yours.
This is the primary motivation.
Unless they are a rare bird, you are not going to find many women wrestlers who stick around the business if they attain a rich husband.
If they have a rich husband, they most likely are not going to wrestle unless they LOVE it.
They take a lot of crap from friends, family, and there is a lot of physical and emotional anguish in this business.
Anything from a harsh word to a fan from a grueling match that causes injuries, physical or mental.
Fighting And Competition Is NOT FUN For Most Girls!
Any thought of any type of “confrontation” or “drama” as females often call it generally makes them a nervous wreck.
Men were the hunters and gatherers in ancient times in most cases.
Women are nurturers generally.
If you gave the majority of ladies in this world a blind, biological choice of “security or freedom” what do you think they would choose?
(I said a biological choice, not a logical one)
In my experience and opinion the vast majority of women would almost always choose security over freedom.
I know this because there are ladies that have worked here and made $200 to $300 for a few hours of work.
Then, these same ladies give the majority of their time to a job that pays them $300 per week for 40 hours of labor.
Many men are like this too sadly.
The education system failed them and they fail to understand the most valuable commodity they have in this world is their own time and what they choose to do with it.
Back to Women.
Most women instinctively or biologically understand that the primary trait that males look for when they court them is their BEAUTY.
Women HIGHLY value their looks.
Most of the ladies I ask to try this are subjectively “pretty” females by most standards.
Without those looks, they become like you and I as GUYS…..meaning…..they have to actually WORK!
I’m ducking for cover right now, but….
Most Women Tend To Know The POWER Of Their Looks!
YOU: You looked so hot and sexy against Monroe the other day.
HER: Thanks. (translation: I know!)
Why Am I Talking About Women’s Looks And What Does This Have To Do With This?
The biggest fear that stops new ladies from trying this out is that they truly fear that they are going to get punched in the nose or gouged in the eye.
They don’t want their looks being hurt in ANY way.
Especially model types.
Women who put themselves out there as a model type generally have inboxes full of guys trying to date them first and foremost.
They also tend to get a lot of messages from photographers and businesses (like myself) that want them to try things they have not tried before.
And, let’s be honest.
Our style of REAL and COMPETITIVE Women’s Wrestling is very challenging.
The ladies will be feeling it MENTALLY days and hours before the match itself.
And, for the PHYSICAL part, if there are two equal ladies wrestling on our wrestling mats…..they are going to be FEELING IT when they go home.
You use all types of muscles you have never used.
And as a woman, you don’t get to be in control of how you are portrayed.
Anything can happen when the wrestling is REAL and COMPETITIVE!
For many men who enjoy this website, this is exhilarating.
For MOST women…..this can be incredibly and extremely terrifying!!!!
This is why I always tell fans to APPRECIATE and SUPPORT the extremely RARE ladies who put it on the line for THEM.
All of ladies who I have ever spent even 1 hour with are here for one primary reason and one primary reason only.
They are here to make as much money as humanly possible.
If you once had a favorite woman that is no longer working here it most likely means there were not enough collective fans were not supporting her.
Many fans think OTHER FANS will pick up the tab.
Mass delusion my friends!
If you want the women to flake less you MUST chip in to financially support them as much as you can afford it when it comes to the wrestling business.
(on the personal side, you should not be spending more than $15 or $20 on a first date. If you are, you are most likely doing everything WRONG!)
If they are making $1000, $2000, or $5000 per week doing this do you think these women are going to flake all the time?
Yes. Sometimes. But, not nearly as much!
Who knows until we try?
THE PRIMARY REASONS ladies tend to flake when it comes to THIS business in my personal experience include:
- they feel society is going to judge them at sometime in the future for participation
- OR because the nerves are simply too great at the moment it’s time to wrestle. We get a TON of “last minute” emergency excuses when it’s literally an hour or two away from match time. Very, very, very normal!
- Women are very jealous creatures and they also constantly, constantly, constantly compare themselves against other females. Low self esteem is a BIG reason ladies do not show.
- OR, the lady has someone in their life (usually a boyfriend) who is giving them HELL for choosing to be a lady wrestler rather than a 1950’s style lady. (good luck pal!)
Women are highly attracted to QUALITY and VALUE.
Perhaps a high honor man will explain himself every single time. This is me. If I can’t do business with someone, I let them know why. If I made a commitment, I honor it. If I must break it, I let the person know why.
Many women just tend to ghost you.
I mean, can you imagine if you were a woman and you had to explain to every single guy WHY you didn’t like him?
Talk about a drama fest!
It’s normal biologically for them to ghost you.
And quite logical in some cases if you were to put yourself in the woman’s shoes.
If you are a wrestling producer, you can try to have really tough contracts and make all types of threats and give the ladies lectures all the time about being late and/or their behavior.
if a lady is not showing up or flaking often, MOVE ON.
(this does not mean you need to give her “one final lecture”. Truly. MOVE ON!)
Not only will you live longer, but you will also potentially have that woman again in the future when her circumstances or opinions shift as they inevitably do.
It’s the circle of life.
As a male, you need to have strong emotional control and not overly lecture them when you perceive that a lady you are trying to woo or court is doing something wrong.
Most likely, it’s you that is messing up.
You will learn most women KNOW when they did something seriously messed up. You can talk to them about it for certain. But, try not to beat them up about it and do your best to accept their point of view and sometimes (lame and false) excuses for why they did or did not do something.
In life, watch what people DO vs what they SAY.
This applies double to women.
You truly have to focus on YOU.
What YOU can control.
You can control YOU.
Very hard to control other human beings.
Controlling females is akin to trying to control a herd of cats or chickens.
Again, “have fun” if you want that type of drama in your life!
You can stay strong, firm, and let them know if there are possible consequences without being a dick about it.
(as in, no offense, but I have not heard back with you on this, so I am going to do business with “lady b” instead and no hard feelings as I imagine you are very busy. Hope you are killing it and get back with me if/when time allows!)
This is a non mean way to get the girls attention finally as one example of many.
This is the same if you are a man trying to date women.
If you keep getting passed by you might want to work out more.
Increase your income.
Work on your interpersonal skills with females.
Maybe, stop being such a pussy and agreeing with the females you so desperately want to impress on every single little point.
Or, maybe you are too much of an asshole and simply have a lot of rules and orders!
Work on YOU.
Then if women flake on you…………..it won’t matter.
ALWAYS BE WORKING ON MULTIPLE WOMEN RATHER THAN JUST ONE!
When it comes to DATING in your personal life and when it comes to setting up sessions or matches with FEMALE WRESTLERS in your business life.
Maybe they had a reason related to you on why they flaked or maybe it was related to them.
Again, you won’t worry about this type of thing because you are busy working on multiple women and suddenly you will have so many options that you WILL NOT CARE when ladies inevitably do this to you and they will do this to you a LOT in the course of your life.
This type of outlook and attitude will also make you more attractive to women in general.
In my case, it makes my business an attractive place to work.
Women know I will not fly off the handle if something goes wrong.
Customers know I won’t yell at them or judge them too harshly unless they mess up big time.
Even in that case, I will still talk to people.
Males and females both know I won’t put up with their bullshit.
It’s a very important balance that must be struck.
I’m not going to give a woman drama if she does wrong, but I will give her the boot and I will a male too!
Be quick to fire and slow to hire.
Don’t get so caught up in trying to figure out WHY the woman flaked unless you did something terribly wrong and you know it.
Forget about closure.
In most cases, MOVE ON!
Find new women and quit focusing on “The One”.
The fantasy Disney Tale Princess who in reality is nothing like you perceive her to be in real life.
I will finish with this.
Perhaps sometime in the future a producer will read this who is trying to do the same thing I’m doing.
Producers will completely understand this side of things and most of them do not have the knowledge or foresight to even make it this far.
Dads do not teach this to kids and they do not teach this type of knowledge in schools.
Working with women is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
Especially pretty women.
They are different.
They are not hard workers in general.
They do not put in long hours for me in general.
We are often last on the totem pole when it comes work opportunities for most of the ladies we work with.
Some of this is simply female biology.
Some of this is presentation and societal acceptance, of which is our job.
Working with women has been one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences of my entire life.
As desirable as it may seem, I warn you.
It’s not for everyone and it comes with a lot of “not care” on their end.
It will shock your conscious.
Over and over again.
I don’t blame them.
Biology is something you nor I can change.
However, you and I can take personal responsibility for our temper (emotional control) and our reactions to the many unlogical things women will do to you and me in our lifetimes.
In short, we can control ourselves and no others.
Commit to this….and your life will improve and fast.
— Ringo —
PS. One last tip. If you are dealing with a new woman you have never met before keep in mind you are nothing more than an AVATAR. She gets thousands of messages in her inbox or text when you barely get zero. What makes YOU different? Make a very short video of yourself and send it to her AND/OR set up a time to talk on the phone or video a couple of days after you make a commitment to meet. This is a “bridge” that will greatly cut down flaking from women in your business and personal life.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED: May 8th 2018
REVISED AND UPDATED: March 26th 2022